#charles is my own character
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Marvel Meow (2021), Nao Fuji | Professor X and Magneto
Bonus:
#xmen#xmen comics#cherik#professor x#magneto#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#erik magnus leshnerr#snap scans#i dont scan ever please forgive me for. Everything jvAE:KJ i tried my best to match the purple as how it looks in person#i love the purple used for this whole comic .. its really nice#all the comics have different colors its neat yall should check it out if youre able. its a lovely silly collection#BUT GIRL PLEAAAASSSEE IM CRYING#as a part of my Visiting My Family For The Weekend trip my bro and i went to the store#and i told him about the wolverine cat comic and the whole collection and he found it while we were browsing ....#naturally i got it. because i love the idea of cats being heinous freaks ESPECIALLY to my faves#this all did happen because of a cat. btw. phoenix possessed one while scott and jean were baking a cake#which had everyone trying to catch it. leading to. this. jWLRAKJAWRLKJKJ#this is 1000% has 'we'll be back by 8PM please keep the house clean' vibes i'm sobbing LIKE WHERE ARE THEY RETURNING FROM#also can i just say ... i love it when american comic book characters get the manga treatment#idk i just love it ... i esp love how wolverine's drawn in these comics but. this aint about him#i just wanted to gush about my favorite old people LIKE PLEASE CHARLES IS GOING TO HAVE A STROKE I SEE IT#the fact they still got that goofy lil 'welcome back charles and erik' banner im going to be sick. theyre the whole mansions dads#anyway i have an assignment to do. because my prof hates me Who The Fuck Makes An Assignment due At 12:59AM#bye bye hpoefully ill be back with my own doodles ajvlekjla
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just some everyday cowboys 🤠
#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#arthur morgan#charles smith#john marston#sadie adler#my art#ahh my fave thing#drawing characters in modern fashion~#they're all essentially the same except marston owns a hair-dryer now...
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Waiting for onscreen updates on Will Putnam, Theo Dimas, Charles’ stepkid and literally any of Mabel’s love interests
#like the show is obviously still fun and keeps surprising me#but we’re 4 seasons in and I’m starting to worry about how many important/interesting characters they’ve dropped like hot potatoes#like Theo Dimas bias is one thing but why hasn’t Oliver talked to HIS OWN SON#for a whole season soon#and he still doesn’t know about the Teddy twist#Charles’ step kid was apparently one of the most important people in his life and we don’t even hear about texts from her#stop giving me cool characters and plotlines to get excited about if they’re going to be dropped#in favour of stacking a season with 50 famous guests that don’t impact the trio beyond a singular mystery#only murders in the building#omitb#theo dimas#will putnam#lucy only murders#omitb memes#my memes
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Like okay, so we still don’t really know how long Edwin has been out of hell before he met Charles, but it could not have been for longer than a few months max probably. And he still stays with Charles as he’s dying! Like that must have been terrifying! Just think, you’ve been tortured for decades, you’ve only been free for a few weeks and you’re still at the same shitty school you died in. You’re out of your depth, so many things have changed in the years you’ve been gone. But damn if shitty teenage boys with prejudices are not a phenomenon across all generations. You try to bring some warmth to this boy who is cold and hurting. He can see you and you know Death is coming for him but you stay anyway to give him what comfort and joy you can offer in his last moments. So that he doesn’t die alone and scared like you did. Even after he’s passed you still stay to explain what’s going on, you know Death could show up any moment and you’ve only been free a short while. You see the blue light and you end up running together.
#best person I know indeed#Edwin Payne the character you are#if I think about him too long I break down into tears#these boys own my whole heart#dead boy detectives#dead boy detective agency#edwin payne#charles rowland#payneland#sorry for the giant block of text#I just have a lot of thoughts and feelings about them
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Sudden thought, I wonder if Erik is actually not aware of Charles’ limitations. Erik meets Charles as the latter jumps into the ocean to save him. Charles is calm all through out. Seemingly not afraid to sacrifice OR knows he will not need to sacrifice anything to meet Erik down below.
Charles tells Erik he knows everything about him. To some extent maybe, but not really. Charles gets the gist of people around him. Goes in enough to know who’s a threat, who can be trusted, but he asks Erik’s permission in finding that sweet memory of Erik and his mom. Charles didn’t know about it beforehand.
Erik didn’t even think Charles would feel Shaw’s death, nor the people on the boats. He assumes Charles has the option to not feel it, presumably. Or doesn’t know how bad it could be.
Erik leaves Charles on the beach before Charles learns he can’t feel his legs, he doesn’t see Charles’ breakdown and Charles keeps himself together admirably beforehand. Reigning in what must be extreme amounts of pain.
When Erik sees Charles again, Erik presumes that Charles could and would use his powers on Erik, stop him whenever he wants, because they’re enemies now. When he realizes Charles can’t do that, it is still unfathomable to him. And on the plane it all suddenly makes sense. Charles valued his ability to walk more than his powers, Charles chose to remove his powers. Charles abandoned them all to pretend at being normal.
Not for a second does Erik believe Charles is anything but all put together, all knowing. Presumably naive, Erik knows better how cruel the world is. Has experienced real hardship while Charles, as much as Erik loves him, lived a pampered one. It makes sense to Erik that Charles would pick being human.
Not once does Erik think Charles may have been abused by a step father and a step brother. Suffered an alcoholic mother who possibly drank herself to death long before 1962. Charles simply doesn’t say anything and quite honestly prefers to move on from them, because they don’t matter. Raven and Erik matter tho. His little team of mutants mattered, and every single one he’s met at first year of school and through cerebro matter.
Charles is strong enough to help the mutants in need, guide them, and if he were just willing to see Erik’s point of view, fight the good fight against the humans. Because Charles doesn’t make mistakes, Charles doesn’t have failures, but he fails the rest of them.
Charles, unfortunately, isn’t seen as a fallible person to even Erik. More akin to a god, that Erik needs to protect his mind from, because otherwise, his god will exact judgment and punishment. Take his free will away from him because Erik has disobeyed him. To Erik, while Charles and him are equals, both god figures in their own right, with his helmet he levels out a playing field Charles doesn’t even see.
Of course, this is not unlike everyone else in Charles’ life, though where Erik sees a godly figure, everyone else sees Charles as a parent figure, placing him on a similar high pedestal. Seemingly everyone will tend to ignore Charles’ possible emotional instability or fallibility, the way a child might expect their parent to be all knowing. Charles’ wrongs become grander because surely he knows better. So why did Charles’ let this, whatever this is, happen?
#X-men#cherik#X-men first class#x men: days of future past#x men apocalypse#xmen dark phoenix#charles xavier#erik lensherr#basically everyone is up their own ass when it comes to Charles#like damn hoes - mutant and proud my ass#only convenient when it’s not a scary telepath huh?#also insane cause like Charles has only ever skimmed people’s thoughts#though granted - he has frozen people and easily incapacitates enemies#I’m not gonna think too hard about how Charles could have stopped like all the hellfire club except for Shaw#lmao it’s honestly hard to write things for all powerful characters#maybe he couldn’t control that many people tho?#and Shaw was for sure hard to keep frozen#so there’s lots of limitations we’re not privy to either#anyway - Charles got screwed with some stank ass family and friends#like these hoes are so self absorbed omg#can’t convince Charles isn’t a fuckin saint#(I DO NOT SEE YOU DARK PHOENIX YOU ARE LITERALLY THE WORST)
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more rambling about a s5 au: lindsey comes back for a redemption arc to act as legal counsel for angel's team. this ostensibly gives gunn a reason to opt out of the lawyer operation, but he does it anyway because he doesn't trust lindsey not to fuck them over.
lindsey acts as a moral foil to gunn, who comes to believe his necessary contribution to the team (since he's no longer their only lawyer) is being the defender of the group's principles while working at w&h. they frequently butt heads while working on a case, but eventually develop a begrudging respect of each other's respective strengths.
this hostile-to-friendly-rivalry arc is tested when it comes out that w&h was responsible for some demon problem that's been plaguing gunn's home community. gunn has, unbeknownst to himself, been somehow contributing to it while working at w&h; lindsey knowingly contributed to it when he was last working there as a lawyer. lindsey is forced to confront who he was, while gunn is forced to confront who he’s becoming.
since he was involved in the project, lindsey uses his insider knowledge to help come up with a plan to fix the problem. they execute it, something goes wrong, and lindsey risks his life to ensure the plan goes off successfully. he expects congratulations and a pat on the back from gunn, but gunn isn't interested in absolving lindsey's sins (or his own), and their warming relationship freezes over.
at some point, gunn lets himself get taken by the senior partners in an effort to deal with his guilt over various lapses in judgment/perceived moral failures. during their rescue mission to the holding dimension, lindsey stays behind in gunn's place so he can escape, assuring gunn that he's the lawyer the team needs right now. their mutual arcs culminate in lindsey rejecting the idea that redemption is done for recognition, and gunn rejecting the idea that guilt/self-punishment is inherently redemptive.
eventually after being busted out by illyria, lindsey is there to empathize with gunn about losing parts of yourself (body, mind, and/or soul) to w&h, relationships to power when you've grown up without it, and what it means to live with the consequences of your actions. both of them reflect on the nature of redemption/forgiveness/intent as they grapple with how to own up to an appropriate share of the blame.
#imagine i'm explaining this to you like the charlie day pepe sylvia scene#now let's talk about two characters who have barely interacted can we talk about two characters who have barely interacted#angel the series#ats#charles gunn#lindsey mcdonald#i think it's about two people who have grown up with a front row seat to how people with power will use it to step on others#the difference being that gunn thinks 'i need to be strong so i don't let people in power fuck over me or my own'#while lindsey thinks 'i need to BE those people in power'#also lindsey's appearance is a big PITA to gunn because he's a reminder that to anyone looking from the outside#gunn now looks a lot like the same evil guys in suits that he once fought against#which also reflects some of the themes in s5 more broadly! can they do good while working within evil inc or will they be corrupted etc#plus there's a lot of parallels to what's going on with spike and angel#art
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Neil Bildaddy??? on Shuhite Sunday??
#this is for his Charles dickens thing but let’s just collectively imagine he’s cosplaying his and terry’s own characters lol#this is such a stupid joke I’m so sorry lol#good omens#crowley#ineffable husbands#good omens 2#aziracrow#aziraphale#go2#ineffable lovers#ineffable wives#good omens season 2#Neil gaiman#shuhite sunday#bildad the shuhite#bildad my beloved#shitpost#good omens shitpost#gomens
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My hands are cramping from writing 1.5k words on the airplane just now but when I am hyperfixating I am HYPERFIXATING, y'all. I'm up to 34k written in the last *checks watch* holy shit, six days. And today's not even over yet, because when I get to my destination, a computer will be calling my name. I'd like to thank Dead Boy Detectives for devouring my brain cells with the multishipping and character development potential- you're to blame for the state of my poor thumbs!
#edwin payne#charles rowland#monty the crow#the cat king#jenny green#the night nurse#niko sasaki#crystal palace#they are all my beloveds and all qill get their own character arcs just wait#aletterinthenameofsanity#fanfic#my fics#ao3#writing progress
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Now I'm thinking too hard about some of the surgeons and my personal headcanons for them again, god fucking help me.
Thinking about Hawkeye raised in a rural community with Daniel being more of a horse-and-buggy doctor who made house calls just as often as he saw people in his office or his home. Thinking about Hawk who was a child when he was first needed to hold pressure on a belly wound, not yet a teenager when he became the only person who could assist if someone made it to the Pierce house in the middle of the night and needed emergency care. Thinking about how money never even occurred to him because Daniel's been getting paid more often in eggs and bread and fresh crops and delicious fish and services in turn for as long as Hawk's been alive. A man who walked into medical school already having seen and experienced far, far more of the visceral parts of surgery than anybody else there, who got mistaken for a prodigy, who never thought to correct them but instead expected them all to keep up.
Thinking about Trapper growing up in the thick of Boston slums where it was so much harder to get adequate healthcare, just a kid hearing about how almost all of his friends were supposed to have a baby sibling on the way, but now they're not. How often the men in his area—physical laborers—would be laid off after they lost a limb, how it would pull his friends out of school one by one once they completed their requisite education because they needed to work when their parents no longer could. How many times he had to see someone sick or injured and having nowhere to go for care because they couldn't afford it, coughing on the side of the road, bleeding in an alley. A man who walked into medical school with more fucking determination than anyone else there, gritted teeth, fire in his chest, because he'd be damned if he watched that cycle continue.
Thinking about BJ in a fine home, expensive neighborhood, upper class, parents determined to tick their way up the ladder into new money by marrying their kids into wealthier families so that by extension, they can experience the height of luxury. His grandfather's legacy which led to his father's excellent private practice, high prices, tied up neatly in a bow of how disdainfully he'd often speak of his patients or colleagues at home. The Depression hitting and wiping out his father's and grandfather's money—stored in banks, in stocks, in bonds—instantaneously, and how his father had to pivot to barely making anything because there was so little that his patients could give, and how cold it made him because why should he be a surgeon if he doesn't even get paid for his work? Why should he help anybody at all when he'd receive so little personal benefit? A full eighteen years immersed in his father's bitterness, every minute spent distancing himself from him. A man who walked into medical school having already cut them off cleanly, a mission in his chest, the drive to provide care out of compassion, his principles already firmly locked in place, his desire to be the best out of anybody else around him so that no one ever has to feel like they need to beg him so that he would deign to save their life.
I'm unwell about the surgeons. I don't know if y'all knew this or not.
#charles and i are still on less than great speaking terms so he is not telling me his motivations#we'll get there when he's ready#god do i wanna put this in the main tags#only doing so so i can find this on my blog later#these are for MY personal iterations of them#if you disagree with my thoughts then please go make your own post where you can expound to your heart's content#because it's an incredible delight for me to hear how everyone else headcanons the characters#hawkeye pierce#trapper john mcintyre#bj hunnicutt#my writing
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My personal opinion
Spoilers
Marvel Writers: Hank McCoy/Beast is irredeemable. He is a despicable villain. The version you will see in the upcoming comics is a clone of himself with only up to his mid-1980s memories/portrayal. If original Beast does come back, it will still be as a villain and he can never come back to the original team as a hero. He has no one to blame but himself.
#xmen#x men spoilers#justice for hank mccoy#justice for beast#justice for moira mactaggert#and don’t get me started on professor charles xavier#is he sketchy as heck?#yes#does it make sense for him to butt heads with his own students as they grow into their own? yes#does it make sense that he kills rachel summers and that apparently the idea and goal for the x-men wasn’t his original idea after all#marvel comics will tell you yes#this is why i like aus#current comic storyline and character journeys exhaust me in a bad way#hank mccoy#the beast#moira mactaggert#charles xavier#professor x#professor xavier#spoilers#just my opinion#but#i consider the krakoa arc to be one of the worst arcs to happen for the X-Men and Marvel in general#i also roll my eyes whenever marvel and dc comics insist on a current change/retcon being officially PERMANENT and unchangeable#because that’s when you know they are being so stubborn to make the changed thing work#but wind up limiting themselves in terms of smooth story arcs and character growth#friendly reminder that them flip flopping over Jean Grey’s actions and death resulted in the most memorable and iconic introductions to#The Phoenix Force#which then has been a significant part of her character for the rest of her existence for both good and bad?#also why make the most mutant-looking guy of the original five into the most irredeemable villain who gets no redemption? 🤔
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(late)Day 18 of OC-tober: Swap!
I did a backstory swap of Mako and Ticid
More info under cut!
I choose these two because they both have magic infused backstorys. Ticid was raised as an assassin and his magic was shunned for being easy/cheating/able to backfire/ and a general clash in belief. After taking on a murder commission he chased down Charles in his home, pinning him against a wall and seeing his absolutely terrified face and prompting change(usually his victims are ambushed without time to react but Charles DOES NOT leave his house often)
Mako is great at blood magic which was historically used for crime and is considered unethical but, they used their own blood (often fainting) and continued until a close friend/lover used them, pinning the blame and landing them in jail. After their jail (and local village) burnt to the ground they escaped and got burn scars from their shackles and muzzle (sharp shark teeth so ya). Eventually they landed in the restaurant they currently live in and escaped The Horrors™ (I mean not forever but y'know).
Design notes
First big difference is the horn swap forcing ticid's to have been broken off
Ticid is missing a hand because canonly Mako did alot of struggling to get out of their shackles and burns don't show up well on exoskeletons but it is far easier to lose a joint due to the construction of Ticid's
Mako has a different weapon (kinda scythe like) instead of their halberd. To me I associate halberds as very protective due to their knight imagery while scythes are a practical tool use to cut things quickly.
Mako has a lost fin from a difficult victim who needed to be chased down (I don't think Charles would exist as he does in cannon so no terrified seamstress here)
Mako has no mostly washed out hair dye and Ticid's dreads are tied securely into a bun (mako usually has short hair so it can't be snatched up and grabbed while he keeps it up)
#bweirdoctober#bweirdoctober2024#orginal character#swap au#traditional art#frogggo art#i didn't go over many clothing differences#i mean its a work uniform and simplistic identity covering clothes#i say identity covering because Ticid's trauma comes from his species and is culture so instead of bugs is sharks in the swap#Charles probably owns a small run down restaurant in this au while Mako's friends are running a big post office because they would not have-#- a taylor#also this allows ticid to meet Charles in a friendly manner even if backstory differences would cause a big personality shift#the personalitys would be different from the person they swapped with due to how people would perceive and treat them based on appearance -#-and voice mannerisms#(TO BE CLEAR I AM NOT RACIST BUT SOME COMMON FOLK IN MY STORY ARE VERY OUTDATED IN BELIEFS AS THIS HELPS MAKE THE WORLD FEEL REAL AND ADDS -#-DEPTH TO THE WORLD AND ITS PAST OF VIOLENCE. Because a dragonborn is kobold they will be treated differently#not to say that it's a good thing but the difference in how people perceive them is based on fear and not fact.)
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If venice is sinking by spirit of the west also has serious escapism vibes to me. Idk
Len coming in clutch with the perfect song recs oh my god????? You're so right????? The vibes are so there I could imagine an OC amv to this so easily. It covers like all the themes bro....you're so right Len you're so right thank you mister music listener.....I cant at the moment but I will most likely be making doodles based on some of those lyrics soon....
also I looked up the sculpture mentioned in the song (Marino Marini's sculpture “L’Angelo della Città” for those who are unaware) and IT IS SO FUCKING FUNNY????????? WHAT A THING TO SCULPT
#the whole chorus has the uhh “stuck” vibes#i havent talked about this tooo much but a big part of escapism is each character being “stuck”#(and refusing to move on)#charles is STUCK fixated on magic/doing something of notoriety#beatrice is STUCK believing that charles is still a good person and wint leave even though she could leave so so easily#aster gets stuck over a MULTITUDE of things (most notably The Ovening)#Grace and Martha are stuck in grief in their own special ways and Eli is mostly normal actually damn#n the second half of the chorus about being christened with wonder is just like how it all started with good intentions yk#or something like that#the first verse obviously religous imagery snd flowers and bejng jnable to smile i dont even have to say anything#the second verses grieveing n stuff i cant articulate my thoughts kn jt but there are THOUGJTS OK#yesh ^^that barely covers all my brain workings. sorry#POINT IS#yes. very escapism coded. very much so. thank you len#mailbox
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My name is Charles Xavier, and I run a special school for gifted students... for mutants, like you. You'll be safe here for as long as you choose to stay.
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RP blog for Charles Xavier, founder and headmaster of the School for Gifted Youngsters. Be ye friend, enemy, student, teacher--please feel welcome to bend my ear!
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(My name is Sim, I'm over 20, & to be upfront, this is a casual endeavor designed to see other people's characters shine! Feel free to message or send asks, & let me know if there's a specific interaction you're looking for from the prof & I'll think that over. I follow from @kal10. I also run @mimicmadrox - a mutant oc also in the x men universe)
#x men rp#professor x#charles xavier#x men#intro post#i was thinking about how to phrase my boudary criteria and really its just yknow#professor x is a mind reader and (for many) an authority figure who can provide (arguably) sound counsel for emotional issues#and i am some guy with a blog#so just be realistic about expectations for ur characters interactions w the prof!#i'm not a therapist but i'm willing to explore your characters feelings within reason (i.e. with healthy respect for my own feelings!)#(and your safety.)#if theres a specific thought you want the professor to overhear i'm all for that but i won't put thoughts in your characters head#so just include it in your post or pm it to me#if you want to fight w the professor please be willing for him to use his powers against you to control your actions or thoughts#otherwise wear a helmet haha#and finally. i reserve the right to walk away from an interaction if i'm not feeling it#ADDITIONALLY: i have a full time job and may not respond immediately. cheers.
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I don't know how to do sound editing, but I think that someone who can should make a transition between Caesar on a TV Screen by The Last Dinner Party and Brutus by The Buttress. The champion and the eternal runner-up.
#yes this is an f1 related thought#that my or may have not have everything to do with Charles Leclerc#as a classics student trust me no one is irked more than me when I listen to Brutus because WOW THAT'S LIKE THE WORST HISTORICAL CHARACTER#TO USE AS THE PARADIGM FOR ENVY#If anything he is the symbol for being so loyal to an ideal you sacrifice yourself- your affections your family for it#Brutus is the OPPOSITE of the kind of person who would kill for their own benefit#he killed Caesar in spite of his own benefit in spite of his (familial) love for him#but Brutus by Buttress presents a different narrative and I have to make peace with that#especially if in this case this narrative serves me for a cool concept#so yeah. Who's the Caesar on a TV screen to your Brutus?#I could ask who's your Captain Levitin but only 3 people would get that reference#f1#formula 1#f1blr#edit#parallels#fandom#envy#music edit#the last dinner party#the buttress#brutus#caesar#caesar on a tv screen#it would be cool if someone made an edit like this with the actual caesar and brutus but I would probably burst down in flame#due to the misenterpretation on their relationship
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My head is hurting after Secret History inner ramblings.
I think the one thing that’s difficult about this book is that EVERYTHING is a little true and a little false at the same time? It’s weird because sometimes I go to make a statement on something or post a thought, and I just can’t get the nuance right ever. All my opinions have a bit of a “but here’s where that thought ends” aspect to them. Here’s what I mean:
1. Henry and Camilla: I think someone kind of disliked something I said once when I said I was skeptical about Henry’s relationship with Camilla. And I tbh had strongly worded my thoughts. But here’s the deal. Henry, based on what we know of him, likely doesn’t have a good concept of love. And Camilla feels safe with Henry. Due to this, I think Henry views Camilla as something to protect. He sees her as aesthetic and wants to pursue her because he has clearly been taught by Julian and his own long history with many books and few human interactions that what’s important is what is ethereal and arcane and pretty. Camilla is going through a lot with Charles and she knows all the other guys are, in varying ways, terrified of Henry. Bunny was a jerk but his obsessive attitude toward Henry was indicative of his fear and his needing to know what Henry is up to, an attitude which makes increasing sense as the novel progresses. Richard has slips about Henry all the time but the most memorable to me is when he almost says “What if it’s Henry” instead of “What if it’s the cops?” when Charles knocks. Charles is so blatantly frightened of Henry and for good reason: Charles never seemed to want to kill Bunny, was was pulled into the murder (but it was still his choice), not taken seriously when he tried to lament Bunny, and then put into a situation where he had to just keep talking about it while minding his every word. Then there were strong indications Henry was trying to kill him. Camilla isn’t dumb. I’m sure she sees things that the guys see. She’s certainly disturbed when Henry made her douse herself in pig blood. But she allows Henry to have what he wants so she can be safe.
Now, I don’t even think Camilla is wrong to make this choice. In fact, Richard’s attitude towards her decision was uncalled for. That said, we now have a relationship built on a man who is buried in fanciful ideas about things and a woman who is fully aware of everything wrong with him and just goes with it because she’s scared. But it’s weird because saying that this relationship is entirely destructive isn’t perfectly true either. It’s true for the above reasons. But I also see Henry and Camilla do having some semblance of a positive relationship too. He does treat her kindly and, whatever the reason, he does help her when she’s struggling with Charles. We’ve seen signs of Henry looking out for Camilla throughout the whole book. And, you know what? We even get tiny indications that she really believes in some of his nonsense. But, by the end of the novel, I was so skeptical of anything Henry did and so wary of how emotionless he’d gotten that I couldn’t really believe he wouldn’t ever hurt her (my goodness, this guy could read some ancient myth arguing that some random, toxic action is somehow akin to love and he’d take it seriously). But bottom line is that this isn’t an easy thing for me to voice my opinion on without immediately disagreeing with my own wording.
2. Francis being untruthful about Charles. When I say Francis’s story about Charles isn’t correct, I mean that there are indications Francis is twisting facts. I’m saying it makes too much sense that he bore blame too, based on what we know of Francis. But what I’m not saying is that he spoke nothing but lies. This book is about illusions and things hidden in plain sight. Francis saying that Charles and Camilla being pretty makes it hard to see that they aren’t good does ring very true. It’s similar to Richard’s statement that he has a tendency to view interesting people as good (he says this about Julian). I do believe Francis when he says that Charles, even Camilla in a more subtle or different way, is jealous and manipulative— and the twins have been that way for a long time. We can pick that up ourselves throughout the novel. And he’s probably right that the bacchanal brought the worst of it to light. He definitely tries to tell Richard about something awful Charles did that night and can’t bring himself to.
That said, Francis is also clearly framed as being illusionary himself. He’s compared twice to a fox in this scene. His reason for why Charles won’t admit to having been with him is flimsy. It’s an odd understanding of Charles who won’t speak of his drinking when personal details aren’t involved. And alcohol was involved every time Francis and Charles hooked up (in the story about the first time it happened, when they left Richard’s room, and at the funeral). Francis even admits that was a driving factor in their relationship. At the Corcorans’, we also see Charles say Francis attempted to coerce him into something only for Francis to cut him off. So it’s just that, knowing alcohol was involved, knowing Francis has tried to take advantage of an inebriated Richard, and knowing that he’s trying to cover up truths… it just doesn’t give us a picture of a Francis who was entirely innocent in the matter and who didn’t at all take advantage of his friend.
A few things can exist at once because I think Francis’s big deal is being something of a doormat. He balks in the face of anything scary from doctor visits to certain social interactions; he goes along with others. He can be sharp-tongued and he does have strong desires, but he is often scared back into place. He clearly wants something with Richard (he goes for it twice) but won’t attempt to push when Richard is lucid. He asks permission, is denied, and accepts it (good!). But when Richard is vulnerable, Francis is more aggressive (fair point to Francis: this is not all the time. He’s seen Richard drunk and sleeping and been normal about it). Francis does get pushed back into place by Charles as well. Camilla states this when she tells Richard why she can’t move in with Francis rather than Henry. We also see Francis mock Richard’s speech patterns then immediately become really meek and apologetic when he sees that Richard is actually angry. And I’m kind of wondering if Francis knew all about Henry potentially setting up Richard and kept his mouth shut while Charles perhaps attempted to save Richard by taking him to the bar the night the police came. I say this because Charles says he knows Francis would betray him to Henry. And this moment seems more that just drunken rambles, based on Francis’s reaction. Francis’s suicide note even apologizes for NOT doing things. This fear does seem likely to cause him to merely take advantage of people when they’re vulnerable, to push until bitten back. (By the way, I think the alcohol he has during the funeral bathroom moment was purchased by Charles when he went out since it was in the glove compartment? The rest is vague but, to me, Francis is taking advantage of a weakness. To be honest, I like to think even Francis realized this. He payed Charles’s rehab bill. I think he knew that, in encouraging the drinking or, at least not stopping it, that he’d failed Charles— and Camilla who was directly affected.)
This is a lot of things. So I think me having moments of “OK FRANCIS WAS CLEARLY MANIPULATIVE HERE” is not the same as me saying he was totally wrong. Just like me saying he’s likely right about Charles is not me saying Charles wasn’t a vulnerable and mistreated party too.
3. Bunny being more morally aware than others. This one is the TRICKIEST. Because Bunny is really bad too. He’s such an awful friend. But my big-hard-to-capture-thought is that I do not believe Henry when he says Bunny’s reaction to the farmer-slaying was purely feelings of being left out. And I think Bunny was aware of and disturbed by the things going on in the group in a way the others largely weren’t. Richard says Bunny was a bloodhound for insecurities and that’s true. But I also got the sense that he was actually seeing his friends flaws and going, in some deep part of himself, “wait, this is really bad.” Julian mistakes Bunny’s behavior for a possible religious conversion. I think that’s very close— it was a moral crisis, I believe. But Julian is onto the same principle which doesn’t align with what Henry said (that it wasn’t at all moral). Furthermore, I think Henry (and Francis) was wrong about Bunny’s feelings of jealousy and hatred towards Richard. Again, this line between partially true and partially false is light because maybe Henry did note real feelings of inferiority (Bunny did harass Richard despite him not being at the bacchanal and there’s that mean moment where he tells Charles to give Richard a drink without washing the cup). But this is all thrown in to question with Bunny’s letter to Julian which doesn’t mention Richard at all. I just wonder if Bunny, despite all his rampant -isms and blatant mistreatment of his friends, was the first to wake up. And he was killed for it. Similarly, Charles starts to wake up in ways. He, in the midst of all his own crimes, was getting impacted by having helped take a life. And Henry’s reaction repeated itself; he went to silence this person who, within all his madness, was right about something. AND YET AGAIN. This is only true in some manners because Henry was also thinking of Camilla.
Revisiting my whole thesis: It’s like anything I could possibly say about this book has limits and other considerations. Many things are true to a point and false at a level. So I look back at every post I make and am like “well I still think I was right, but I wish I could shine a flashlight on every little detail and exception.” I just want to be fair about everything all the time!
#my legacy will be my TSH word vomits#geez I talk a lot#this was written for my own brain to stop spinning tbh#I love every character in this book#I hate every character in this book#I am filled with compassion#i am filled with utter disgust#the secret history#the secret history theory#richard papen#henry winter#bunny corcoran#camilla macaulay#francis abernathy#charles macaulay#julian morrow#Donna Tartt
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less of a confession, more of a question, (in fanfiction) do you guys read the boys lines in a british accent, or your own/the way you read the rest of the text?
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#for some reason charles is the only character i hear talking in his own voice#every other character for every other fandom is just mine (and my accent)#confession#dbda#dead boy detectives
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